I'm going to start at conception.


Because this was not a planned birth. In fact, I had actively planned on trying not to get pregnant. Turns out, I had no idea how plan B worked. (And you probably don't either....it's like a whole thing.) It wasn't that this baby wasn't wanted...but more-so I wanted more time in between pregnancies. My first son would be just over two when this one was born...and honestly, that sounded terrifying. Not to mention the whole giving birth again part. Needless to say, I spent the first half of this pregnancy rather upset that I was having another baby.


If you've read my first's birth story you will know that I gave birth at home with a local midwife after 17 hours of really intense labor. Like minute-long-contractions-every-couple-of-minutes-for-17-hours-straight intense. I'm pretty sure I 'pushed' for almost 3 hours, and was alone with my husband (who completely forgot everything he "learned" at our childbirth education class and spent the majority of the time cleaning the house) over 3/4's of my labor. It was challenging, hard, and it fucking hurt (but I'll tell yah, pain relief options never once crossed my mind. I was fully committed to the experience.)


All of that to say, I spent a lot of this pregnancy dreading the day I would go into labor again. Thinking about enduring hours and hours of contractions was giving me intense anxiety which I shoved deep down by keeping myself extremely occupied. (I built a whole ass greenhouse, chicken coop, & shed during my second & third trimester.)

White house exterior with dark shadows and trees at dusk creates a moody residential scene.
White house exterior with dark shadows and trees at dusk creates a moody residential scene.

My "estimated due date" was March 31st, and I kept joking that I was sure I was going to have my baby on April 1st because this whole situation I found myself in was a joke. (I told you, I was feeling so pessimistic throughout much of this pregnancy.) However, I knew my baby was going to come slightly earlier than 40 weeks after I contracted the flu and found myself hospitalized for over a week. Thinking back - that might be the craziest part of that whole experience. I literally didn't/couldn't eat for 9 days straight...at 32 weeks pregnant. That (and the vomiting, and chest pains after I was discharged) were actual torture.


But we persevered. Week 38 finally came and my mother flew in from Florida. She missed the birth of my first by a day, so she wanted to make sure this time would be different. Ha.


The final weeks I had initially told myself (and my midwife) I would slow down and rest. I did no such thing. I found something that needed to be done every day up until the day baby Fox was born. I 100% attribute my fast and furious labor to that & my chiropractor who I saw regularly from the moment I got that positive test. (Seriously y'all, chiropractic care during pregnancy is so essential.)


The night before I went into active labor (because in hindsight I realize I was probably in early labor for days before this, but didn't even notice) I was in the bath texting my best friend (whose flight was scheduled for three days later) that I had lost some mucus plug and I wasn't sure I would make it the three more days. Low and behold, 8 am I was woken up by my first real contraction. (I forgot to mention I had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions for months, with increasing intensity and length in the weeks nearing birth...something I had not experienced at all with my first). Okay! Today's the day I said to my husband groggily as I moaned in pain. I put on a robe and went into the kitchen where another contraction hit. I squatted as I held the counter. My mom woke up and asked me if I was okay...I told her today's the day - I need you to go to the grocery store and get some birthday supplies. I wanted watermelon juice, table snacks for the birth team, champagne & a birthday cake. It absolutely was overly excessive - and so wonderful after the fact.


I texted my midwife (Leila with Devotion Midwifery) that today was the day, but that she definitely had time. These contractions paled in comparison to my first birth...there was no way I was about to have a baby like immediately....wrong. I did proceed to have a baby like immediately.


After my mother left for the store I went into my room where my son was. My husband put on Dora the explorer to keep him occupied. I immediately felt nauseous.

A sequence of intimate photos showing a couple cuddling in bed with soft lighting and bedding.
A person lies in bed with soft natural light streaming through the window during a quiet morning moment.
A sequence of photos shows a person performing squats and stretching exercises on a carpeted floor.

My husband picked up my camera, knowing my friend who was flying in two days later (and in charge of photos) was most certainly not going to make it. Honestly, super proud of him...he did a pretty dang good job.


I made it to the toilet where I did vomit, and then got into the tub with my birth ball and let a hot shower run on my lower back as I laid with my chest on the birth ball. I spent about an hour in the shower/tub before getting out and then proceeded to sit down on the toilet backwards. Ohhhh the good 'ol dilation station. I yelled for my husband to come to me and give me some counter pressure on my hips - the contractions were definitely starting to get pretty terrible (but still nothing like my first's) ...but right as his hands found my skin I felt a sharp twing (I literally can't think of another way to describe it?) in my vagina (this was baby descending quickly) and I immediately yelled, hopped (flew?) off the toilet into hands and knees on the ground.


My water broke, and I managed to text Leila "water broke" in between the intensity. She called - she was still 40 minutes out - and started telling my husband what to do/ what to expect. I told him to grab the pads from the birth box....I think he was literally looking for period pads...bless his soul. I described them to him...said we were about to have fluid everywhere and to hurry the fuck up. Puppy. Pads. Finally he put one under me. I felt like my asshole was about to rip in half...I asked for a wet rag which I proceeded to hold on my perineum. At this point my body was involuntarily pushing. That fetal ejection is no fucking joke. I couldn't stop that baby from flying out of me if I tried with everything in my life.


Then baby's head was out and my husband was kneeled in front of me. I told him to stabilize and in that pause before baby's body was born I stood up and held onto his shoulders. He caught our baby with gloveless hands (in the midst of the chaos of getting the puppy pads from the birth box he saw the gloves for the midwives and proceeded to try putting them on....asking Leila what he was supposed to do as they didn't fit...my absolute favorite moment during birth.) He then threw multiple baby blankets onto my legs and RAN to grab my camera. A true gem.


My first born, who had been so quiet and occupied with Dora finally decided to come check in on me. Where did this baby come from?!


I also look back at these images and I can't believe how clean this baby came out. Like what?

A series of candid family moments showing parent and child interactions in a home setting.
A sequence of candid indoor family moments showing a child and adult interacting in a home setting.
A series of connected images showing a newborn baby being held and cared for during skin-to-skin contact.
Sequence of intimate close-up photos showing tattooed figures embracing in dim lighting.

I get asked often if I was scared because I didn't have a midwife with me: and I have a few things to say about that. Short answer is no.


Long answer: 1) It happened far too fast for me to even contemplate anything "going wrong"...I just knew to lean into everything I was feeling. 2) I trust my body and I trust birth. As anti-hospital as I am, I literally spent over a week at one with the flu. I understand my body enough to know when I may need additional help. and 3) I have heard Leila say often that when things happen fast in birth, it's usually because everything is going exactly as it should. Baby is in the right position, and ready to make their debut.

A collage of six photos showing someone sitting on a toilet while holding various items.
A tender moment between parent and newborn baby in a dimly lit room.
A group of people share joyful laughter while sitting together at a table.
A newborn baby wrapped in a pink blanket rests next to colorful tattoo art.
A smiling young child with bare shoulders stands indoors with a joyful expression.
A candid family moment shows a nursing parent with a baby while a smiling toddler stands nearby.
A tender moment between a parent and newborn baby while a toddler looks on from the doorway.
A happy moment shared between parent and child showing colorful tattoo art.
A person with colorful floral tattoos smiles warmly in natural lighting.

Leila arrived shortly after I made it to my bed and then my placenta also just ejected itself out of my body with no help? Bodies are so incredible (and weird). And then the after pains started. I was so grateful for my midwife in that moment. Recall when I mentioned I had the flu a few weeks prior...that whole not-eating-anything-for-nine-days had absolutely destroyed my iron levels. I forgot to mention that from the moment I could finally eat - up until the day I gave birth I was under strict orders to take 4-8 iron pills a day, a shot glass of an iron syrup, and alllllllll the iron-heavy foods I could stand multiple times a day. I had gone from a critically low iron level to just below normal in record time. That said, you do lose blood during birth...and while I didn't hemorrhage or even bleed all that much at first, I was passing a lottttt of big blood clots over time and the cramps were actually almost worse than my contractions were. Leila gave me all the pain relief tactics should could (she even rubbed my feet!)

....and then my mom finally got home from the grocery store.


Naturally she was sad, but did remark that it was probably best she missed it - she would have been too anxious witnessing everything.

A series of connected photos showing someone sleeping in bed with a cat curled up nearby.
Family resting together on a bed with a baby and toddler in an intimate bonding moment.
A close-up view of colorful floral tattoos visible on skin against white bedding.
Parent and toddler sharing a tender moment while relaxing in bed near a sunny window.
People relax together on a couch while applying an ice pack during a casual hangout at home.
A sequence of tender moments between a parent and baby showing bonding, feeding, and nurturing care.
A group of people gather around a table to decorate chocolate cakes with frosting during a baking class.
A person resting on white bedding while being comforted by someone in purple clothing.
Sleeping figure curled up under purple and white bedding in a cozy bedroom setting.
A sequence of intimate massage therapy treatment photos showing hands working on back muscles.
A montage of security camera footage showing different angles of a bedroom interior.
A series of therapeutic massage treatment photos in a home or spa setting.
A dark reddish-brown sauce or mixture in a wooden bowl on white fabric.
Multiple views of a professional massage therapy session on a massage table with green linens.

And then the team helped my first born participate in the placenta tour... literally my heart.

Two people wearing gloves work together to pour a liquid solution into a container while a TV plays in the background.
Close up view of hands working with chocolate in a rustic wooden bowl during a culinary demonstration.
Four side-by-side photos showing hands preparing food on a kitchen counter with cooking ingredients and utensils.
A person wearing gloves prepares raw meat on a cutting board in a home kitchen setting.
Healthcare provider wearing blue gloves examines a newborn baby on white cloth.
Medical professionals in blue gloves perform a dissection procedure on a specimen in a laboratory setting.
Raw meat cuts laid out on white butcher paper showing various stages of preparation and processing.
A child watches intently as a placenta examination takes place on a wooden table with blue-gloved hands visible.
People working together at a food preparation station wearing protective gloves and aprons.
Medical professional in protective gloves handles placental tissue on examination table.
Close-up view of medical examination with blue gloved hands and red tissue.
Close-up view of hands wearing protective blue gloves during a medical dissection procedure.
Medical professionals in blue gloves examine a placenta in a wooden bowl during a home birth examination.
A medical examination of placental tissue takes place on a wooden dish while others observe.
A series of hands wearing blue medical gloves working with red material on a white surface.

We then concluded our birthday with cake & champagne...which is thee way to celebrate, in case you didn't know.

A person rests their head on a table next to a plate with a partially eaten meal.
A series of photos showing someone sleeping in various positions on a couch and bed throughout different times.
People sharing a meal together at a table with multiple plates of colorful food and garnishes.
Two plates of food on white bedding show fresh fruit, salad, and sandwiches during a casual indoor meal.
A group enjoying conversation and laughter while dining together at a casual gathering.

So that's the story about how I accidentally free-birthed my second-born. And yes, I fully intend to have my midwife present for my third when the time comes. (Oh and a photographer...because while my husband did a fantastic job...I deserve photos that don't showcase my triple chins lol)